4 Useful Tips for Dealing With Difficult People on Set
Share this
Difficult people are a fact of life in the film industry. Whether we work on set or off, it helps our careers and sanity to hone our skills in dealing with them. If you’ve done an entire show without having to deal with a single onerous personality, consider yourself fortunate. It’ll probably never happen again.
I’ve dealt with many troublesome people in my career, and as unpleasant as it may be, we have to find a way to work with them and move forward to get the job done.
So here are four helpful tips I’m sharing for coping with difficult people:
- Don’t get defensive.
People sometimes act like jerks because they just want to be heard. You have to be the mature one and realize that it’s not about you. They may be venting about something that’s out of your control and has nothing to do with you. It’s happened to me many times, and I don’t take it personally.
You may have to be the adult in the room when you're working with difficult people. Keep your voice calm and listen.
It’s best to refrain from telling them to calm down, as it won’t work. If you’ve ever had someone ask you to calm down when you’re upset about something, it probably only made you more upset because you felt you weren’t being taken seriously.
Don’t blame other departments or individuals, even if you know the incident in question was someone else’s fault. Speak to them privately later.
- Disengage from abusive behavior.
Things have changed a lot in the workplace since I first got into the business decades ago. The screaming abuse and sexual harassment that occurred on some sets back then is no longer acceptable behavior.
As we’ve seen recently, even influential industry players are not immune from being called out and dealt with in a very public manner. Unfortunately, many people in positions of power have no skills or training in managing people.
You have the right to ask someone not to speak to you abusively and to report unacceptable behavior to superiors. Some people don’t even realize how badly they’re behaving until it’s calmly pointed out to them.
If you believe that you’re in an unsafe situation, get away from the person immediately. It’s not your responsibility to put yourself in harm’s way to try and calm someone else down.
- Minimize contact.
Even on a busy set, no one has to interact with every department all the time. Avoid problem people as much as you can. If your job doesn’t involve directly interacting with them, steer clear.
Even as a trainee, when I had to interact with most departments all day long, I avoided problem-makers. Unless the person is your direct boss, you can probably find a way to minimize contact.
Working on set is stressful enough. Avoid the stress of difficult people whenever you can.
- Talk it over and de-stress.
Sometimes in my career, I felt as though I was going crazy having to deal with some of the trying people I encountered. You may feel that way, too. Fortunately, I had a wide circle of friends to turn to for advice and reassurance.
Dealing with some of the people we encounter in the industry can be a tremendous energy drain. It helps to turn to your support system when needed.
De-stressing is part of taking care of your physical and mental health. Work out, meditate, and spend time in nature. We all need some self-care working in our high-stress business.
Conclusion
Learning to work with a wide variety of personality types, some easy to work with and some more demanding, is a must for anyone aiming for a long career in the industry. When I was starting out, a friend who worked in the business told me that the hardest part of working on set was dealing with all the personalities. She was right.
Being able to deal with challenging personality types is essential for success in the industry. It also made me grow as a person and become more empathetic.
You probably already have the required people skills. We all just need a reminder now and then. Keep calm and work on.